Magic...

 ...is something you make. Let this sentence be something instead standard Merry Christmas and Happy New Year wishes from me. Make magic every time you feel like it :) And the kind of magic that you need for the moment. Your magic is in your hands. And head. And heart. And all around you :)

Scroll you!

 I woke up one morning way before my alarm clock. My thoughts were spinning around my brain and I couldn't stop them or at least slow them down. I wasn't awake nor sleeping, in that weird state of consciousness when you're not sure it's for real. It felt like my brain was a facebook wall and I was blankly scrolling it down, through random, mostly useless images, sentences, information. 

 Trust me, waking up from overabundance of brain impulses can be as scary as nightmare. For the first time I got scared that my brain has a separate life and I cannot control it. Or did I overstimulated it? How different it is to read a book, when you have to focus; while scrolling down your facebook/web pages/pinterest/etc. you constantly distract yourself.

 I'm longing for some high quality moment with good literature, and guess what... I'm sharing this with you where...on the internet!

Is lazy crazy?

 What's more crazy- being lazy or being busy? Or maybe both those states are pretty normal? Lately I felt the need to watch again "Eat, pray, love", especially the Italian part (more "Italian" posts coming soon and you will find out why). One of the Italians in the movie laughed at Americans and pointed out that they do not know how to rest/be lazy/enjoy their free time. They work hard all week just to sit in front of tv all weekend. Brrr, that sounds too awfully familiar! I'm blushing and feeling ashamed, because even though I don't have tv, I do spent most of my free time in front of my laptop.

 I'm to-do-lists maniac. Sometimes this method does magic, but pretty often it's just a proof of how much I could have done while I did...nothing. So I decided this weekend to be super lazy. I crossed out all the 2-do points in my agenda, no plans, no time frames, no scheduled meetings, no great plans. And guess what... I ironed the pile of clothes waiting for their meeting with iron for almost 2 weeks and I finally tried out that bookmarked recipe for chocolate soufflé. And it was a pleasure, not duty. And I want more! And it makes me feel rested! Where's the logic here? :)

Creator

 They say that we can create our own destiny, our own thoughts, ourselves. And it's true! It's actually pretty scary truth, because we have so much freedom and we do so little with it. Instead of free choices, we prefer the power of habit. Without asking questions in life, it's easy to turn into a robot. Questions like: "Do I have to do this?" (especially if I hate it), "Why do I do this?" "How can I change it?" "What can I do to make my life easier/better/more satisfying?". Whenever I'm getting into some emotional vicious circle of bad emotions, a question like this makes it suddenly clear and easy to solve. Sometimes you don't even need to have an answer-the question is an answer itself.

Fashion & Finance

 

  Fashion is a huge business, costing and bringing looots of money; but today I'll write about it from my own perspective. Have you heard of a book "Rich dad, poor dad" written by Robert Kiyosaki? I'm eating few pages everyday in the metro, on my way to and back from work. Pretty inspiring thing and a must-read for those, who want to be rich. 

 The main lesson from the book is to know the difference between assets and liabilities. I won't summarize you the book here, but I'd like to share with you my own discovery. Having this financial knowledge I transferred it into my reality. I was a bit shocked to see that assets/liabilities rule work as well on clothes as it works on money! I love to buy dresses that astonish and charm me from the first second I see them. What happens next? They hang for years in my closet, waiting for perfect occasion to see the sunlight again. They're my liabilities. Something that I owe, but it doesn't bring me much profit. And while I spent my money on those gorgeous dresses, I don't have enough for basic everyday clothes (that can also be gorgeous, why not?), that would be my assets- I could use them often and my profit would be lack of that despair in the morning "I have nothing to wear!!!!". 

 

Cocktail party

 One of the reasons I enjoyed watching "Sex and the City" or "Gossip Girl" so much was because of all those fancy-but-still-casual parties they had there. So many opportunities to wear beautiful dresses that are too elegant for work/everyday but too modest for big events like a wedding. 

 Little Wikipedia research: cocktail parties started around 1917.  Mrs. Walsh invited 50 guests to her house on a Sunday at high noon for a one-hour affair. "The party scored an instant hit," the newspaper declared and stated that, within weeks, cocktail parties had become "a St. Louis institution"

 Is going out with friends our modern replacement for cocktail parties? Hmmm, maybe it's time to organize a little (cocktail) party :)  

Limited (?) options

 I'm exercising now different ways of giving my hand illustrations some digital twist. One of the exercises from the book I have was just playing with filters in photoshop. I didn't like to use them too much because it's easy to get a very kitschy result, but trying them out after a very long time made me realize that I'm using only small percentage of PS possibilities. Well, I'm using not even 1% of the possibilities modern world gives me! And cyberspace. And the situation and place I'm in now. We have million of possibilities and such a small comfort zone...

Iron Lady

 I have one very special talent (no, I didn't mean drawing, but thank you for noticing ;) )- while shopping,  I instinctively like and grab clothes that are horrible to iron. They might have a lot of layers, difficult textile or complicated structure with collars, puffed sleeves, plenty of pleats, etc. However I like simplicity, I'm not really making my life easier :) 

 Ironing clothes calms me down and it's one of my favorite house works-but why am I constantly challenging myself with complicated pieces of my wardrobe? ;)  

Cliche

 

Personal settings

 What a girl does first when she gets a new phone or laptop? Chooses the most suitable wallpaper and changing ringtones for her very favorites. Ok, sorry Ladies- at least I do so. I can't imagine using the standard ringtones and be confused every time I hear familiar sound in the streets or metro. Or how can I allow Windows to choose wallpaper for me? What will it tell about me? No, since this is called PC, it's going to be freaking personal!

 Personal preferences are something that differs us. What kind of bread do you like the most? Very fresh? Crunchy? I love it when it's not too baked, with a light skin, a bit gummy. Yummy! What kind of magazines you're checking out when you are waiting for somebody next to a newsstand? What is your favorite TV show? (however I'm getting constantly amazed with the outfits from Sex and the City or in Gossip Girl, I can't deny that my heart belongs to...Glee). 

 And fashion? Fashion is all about personal preferences! Textiles, shapes, patterns, lengths, designers, brands, trends... Choose whatever suits you :)

Appeal

 I used to agree with opinions saying that modern fashion with the supermodels have created unrealistic ideal of female beauty. But the more magazines I browse trough, the more beauty types I see on the colorful pages. And the more I look around, the more beautiful people I see. It's all about making yourself appealing. First in your own eyes, because that's the first step for everything. And then...go ahead, the world is yours :)

Post it or postpone it?

Q: How long does it take to write a blog post?
A: Not too long and very long.

 Why? Very long because what is written here is an effect of over 26 years of observations, conclusions, discussions, inner monologues, read books, etc. It all ferments in my brain, gets fragmented in my memory and shows up here. And not very long because when I have the right word/phrase/illustration/feeling I just let the words magically flow from my thoughts onto my fingers, then into virtual reality and trough the screens and your eyes into your thoughts.

 Sometimes I have an idea for blog post and asking myself "Should I post it or rather postpone it?". The answer should be always: Post it! Often the smallest thoughts that have the chance to see the daylight ("bloglight"?) are turning out to be the most adequate, universal and personal  not only for me but also for you my Dear Readers.

Identity

 I came to a "simple" conclusion: I need to focus on who I am, not on who I'll never be.

 But simple conclusions are never as simple as they seem to be :) and usually they are coming after a lot of complications. Well... Another conclusion just came to me- it's not always keeping things simple that avoids complications. Sometimes we need things to get complicated, so we can understand how simple they are. 

 Those conclusions got me confused... Well then... Good night Everyone ;)

One step before

 Sometimes I have a feeling like everybody is one step before me. Usually I mean the artistic context, but not only. Don't you ever get a feeling that everyone else has moved on with their lives and you seem to stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it?  

 Luckily, as the years go by, I'm gaining some experience and self-knowledge. And I gathered enough of it till now to know that this kind of feeling is an illusion and it's very relative. The truth is...it's all about you and what you do with your life. And comparing yourself with the others is just postponing the actions to be taken to make your life the coolest life possible.

What a mess!

 A little bit about a mess today. Why? Because I'm facing post-moved-in difficulties like tons of dust, old weird stuff left by previous tenants, spider webs (omg, probably spiders too, but I'm pushing this fact far and deep into my subconscious), etc, etc. A lot of new smells and sounds- I didn't expect from myself to be so sensitive with that but it looks like we get used to familiar sounds and smells and with time they make us feel safe. 

 But the mess lesson is that: the mess won't get less unless you'll start to clean it up. Little by little, step by step, litter by litter. And I mean here a mess outside and inside yourself. Material and emotional. Unless you take conscious action- the mess won't get smaller. And you know what's the best in this cleaning up? That mess covers some beautiful things and you will reveal them :)

 Ok Ladies & Gentlemen! I'm grabbing cloth in my hand now! Time to clean up some mess here! :) 

Idealistic

  I have the tendency to see things from only the good side. No matter which city I'm living in, I'm finding it the best place for me at that time, I'm looking for amazing/interesting/inspiring places, I'm hoping to meet some great people, I believe this is the place where I can make all my dreams come true. The same with job- I'm grateful for what I have and even if it's not the dream one, I believe it leads me to where I want to be. 

 This optimistic point of view may be healthy, but is it leading me to actually make my dreams come true and living the life I want to live, or to postpone it endlessly? Maybe we shouldn't be black or white, maybe we should be a little optimistic to trust our luck, a little pessimistic to notice what we can do better, a little idealistic to follow our dreams and a little realistic to take conscious steps to transform plans into actions? 

City escape

  I finally started to understand the idea of lonely, paradise island. For many years combination of sea, sand and sky seemed to be pretty boring for me. Mountains? Yes! But seaside? Hmm, maybe next summer...

 But now I could use few days, weeks, months (?) in such a carry- and stimulus-less environment. Sorry ambitions, I'm not interested that much in you anymore. Simple pleasures, you're very welcomed!  Letting body to rest, letting time to pass, letting things go instead of aiming higher and  being productive.

 The words of internet wisdom:

"Stop the glorification of busy"

Special occasion

 One Christmas I got a can full of delicious chocolates. It was written on it: "Every occasion is perfect to celebrate". Now let's apply this to the wardrobe. I don't know how about yours, but mine is full of dresses and accessories "for special occasion".  And do I ever wear them? Hmmm... Not really. So they keep waiting and I keep finding out another amazing pieces "for special occasion". 

 I think that this "for special occasion" syndrome is just a form of fashion procrastination; a way of me stopping myself from wearing some extraordinary things. What would be a solution? Maybe creating special occasions instead of waiting for them? F.ex. shocking people in the market with doing your groceries in a tulle dress :) Hmm...why not? ;)

Broken plate and Gossip Girl Lesson

 It takes me time to try out things that people go crazy with. I'm waiting in the shadow, pretending that I'm not that into smartphones, tablets, fresh trends and hot places. In fact, I'm waiting for the first dust to fall, first enthusiasm to fade, so I can safely, knowing already pros and cons, basing on others experiences and knowledge-form my opinion, try things myself, like them or not.

 And so I got into tv shows. After my the best of the best Glee, New Girl, Revenge, Happy Endings, Sex and the City- the time for Gossip Girl has come!  Probably I'm not the only one forming my before-falling-asleep thoughts into prayer like this: "I want this kind of life! Those dresses!!! But please save me from all those intrigues, that's too much for me!" And so I'm waking up and there's no Dorota bringing my tiny fruity breakfast on silver tray, there's no chauffeur in white gloves welcoming me while holding the door of my private limo, I don't have life biggest decision everyday "Chanel or Gucci?" but I also don't have all those intrigues and need of the spotlights to be on me. 

 No, wait... Intrigues happen sometimes, but a better word for them is misunderstandings. Sometimes just life or me myself have the allergy to keep the things simple. Some words are said, some things are done, some actions taken or not. Can all be forgiven and forgotten? Here comes the broken plate lesson, looked up on a friend's fb wall (I hope I remember it correctly): throw a plate on the floor. Done. Did it break? Yes. Now put it back together. Is it still the same plate?

 Let me leave you tonight with this slightly bitter question. And so I'll stay with it myself. 

Interview

 The part of a magazine that I'm usually skipping, is an interview with someone well-known. What can a movie star, singer or a model say, that will change or refresh my way of thinking? And why their words are more interesting than people's that I meet at work, school, on the street? The same with bloggers (ups, aren't I one?). I used to think that bloggers, especially the popular ones, have something extremely interesting and smart to say, but then I realize that their published thoughts aren't that discovery and don't differ that much from mine. Probably my own thoughts written down in this blog aren't that extraordinary either, but you can always just look on the pictures ;) 

 

 "Your beautifully messy complicated story matters (tell it)"

I love love

 I know it's a commercial trap, but I like the fact that there is a story, idea for each perfumes. Not only the scent itself matters, but also the bottle (I judge books by their covers), whole color theme and the description. And so I found my favorite perfumes, described as joyful scent for a young, happily in love woman, full of life and maybe just a little bit ironic. Between oranges, grapefruit, lemon and red currant, in the heart of the perfumes very sensitive noses can feel a tea rose. Not any kind of a rose, but the tea one, my favorite. 

 Someone who told that woman is not fully dressed without perfumes was pretty right. It's my small morning (or evening) magical ritual, before going out, spraying my wrists, space behind ears, and taking a deep breath, looking myself into mirror reflection's eyes and whispering: "Go Girl, the world is yours! Be joyful and in love with life!".    

Celebration

  Whenever I'm finding time to take out my sewing machine, it feels like kind of celebration. I'm carefully preparing my working space- here scissors, here pins, here piece of cloth to try the seam, here the pile of things to repair, to remake, to sew. Usually I'm an optimist and believe that during one sewing session I'll repair/remake/sew everything that I planned. Well... That rarely happens :)

  I like the magical world of textiles, dresses, boutiques, fashion magazines. Is it because of hours spent with my childhood friend on the back of her parents' clothing store? Or because of memory of my mum sitting in front of sewing machine when I was little? Maybe it's an echo of excitement when we were watching for hours with my sisters catalogs from Germany with clothes?  Who knows...

 But what I do know, is that I find my personal equilibrium in the sound of working sewing machine and in the feel of the textile under my fingers.

No jeans, no life?

 Exactly a year ago I threw away my last pair of trousers . I never expected it's actually possible to survive this long without a favorite pair of  jeans! But turned out-it is. My doubts were like: ok, but what about winter? It'll be freaking cold, Girl! And jeans are just so easy to wear, whatever You'll put on top, will look good! But skirts? Bleeh, You need to have proper shoes, tops, tights, not mentioning always perfectly shaved legs! 

 After almost a year I decided to give trousers a second chance, especially that my sister did some spring cleaning of her wardrobe and wanted to get rid of one pair. So I adopted them, and guess what happened? I was completely lost with how to wear them. What to mix them with? What shoes would be the best to wear with them? Suddenly trousers became a problematic piece of cloth! Those once safe, simple and obvious ones! I have a feeling like I'm moving differently in trousers, that I feel different in them. And I do miss my skirts and dresses... So as history likes to repeat, I'll say the same as a year ago...

Bye bye, trousers!

Flowers

  

 

  Somehow world works like this: women and flowers go together very well. A bouquet in a vase on a table can make life so much better and more beautiful. It can literally add colors to your life and a pinch of elegance/extravagance/luxury/hippie feeling. A man that realizes how much flowers are appreciated by a woman, found a key to bring a smile on a beloved face. Top clue: in her eyes a bouquet made of meadow flowers has the same value as dozen of red roses.

 

P.S. Aren't you tired of red roses? I am. They seem to me so ordinary and on the edge of kitsch. I think they're the only flowers that I don't like.

Deconstruction part 2

 The goal of deconstructing myself is to get the essence. What's truly mine? What ideas, what thoughts, what plans, what dresses? Deconstruction can't skip wardrobe. Are all the prints, sequins, frills, etc. "mine"? Selection is the key word here, a path leading to simplicity. The luxury of knowing myself helps a lot to get rid of accidental purchases. No place for  anything else than clothes that feel like my second skin- comfortable and accenting who I am.

Deconstruction

 Oh, everything should be freaking constructive nowadays, even criticism.  Not a single moment should be spent absentmindedly. Our trendiest goal is to be mindful, always focused, in a constant state of meditation, nirvana and zen. 

 Hell no! I'm in a state of deconstruction and believe me, there's a lot to deconstruct! Ways of thinking, beliefs, things I know or thought I know, things I can or thought I can. Brick after brick, during restless but purifying process, deconstruction will provide foundations for something new.

Lonely industry

 Fashion is a lonely business. Take a look through Vogue or Harper's Bazaar, Glamour, Elle, whatever. Plenty of single girls there! Like there's place only for one person on the page and this person is you, you, you, you. Fashion is one huge mirror which reflects...you. Quite grotesque reflection... in some weird unnatural poses, with grimace that doesn't say anything about you, in clothes that you wouldn't actually wear on the street.

Happy PINK Year!

  Those who check my FB fanpage knew earlier that yesterday I was celebrating beginning of a New Agenda Year. My little personal tradition is to create agenda: to put dates, numbers, divide pages, decorate pages separating months, leave enough space for notes, etc. Usually my agenda year starts and ends different than the regular calendar year. This time one of my New Years begun together with June and its leitmotif is La vie en rose. What does it mean? Well, La vie en rose year is about all those little pleasures:

-fresh flowers on the table 

-celebrating thick fashion magazines

-baking muffins and sweet tarts

-enjoying every single dose of caffeine

-spending time on picnics, lazy moments on a balcony, playing board games

-reading books, watching movies, listening to music (all preferably French)

-learning French (Will I finally find the motivation? :D)     

 Of course I can do all that without creating whole philosophy, but isn't in nicer with  one? ;)

Lady & Tramp

 Soup is ready, chicken in the oven, small cleaning up done and dishes washed. Despite of all the fashion talk I'm doing here, I don't look all the time like from a journal ;) In every lady there's something from a tramp, and in every tramp-girl there's something from the lady. 

  It constantly surprises and amazes me how many great, beautiful, funny, inspiring ideas for fashion I see everyday in the streets. Nothing better to do, just take walk through main boulevards of the  city and glance (don't stare!) at manifestations of fashion-independence. And be one yourself, and let others glance. Let them have a moment of amazement, why not? ;)

Muscle aid

 It happened today, while I was washing the dishes, right after I made a salad to take it with me to work tomorrow, while looking nervously on the screen of my laptop, to find orange skype icon blinking at me. In the middle of planning and stressing out about things to do, I realized that my position is highly uncomfortable, my muscles tensed even if they don't need to, my thoughts running wild and finding upsetting things in good things. This time it's not Sparta, this time it's madness, my own private madness.

 I'd risk a thesis, that we're loosing our conscious easily, that we're loosing it constantly, day by day. I lost awareness of my body, and instead of feeling natural in it, I was tying my muscles and bones into some weird knots. It takes hours, days and weeks to make your muscles ache from tension but it took me few seconds to release all the pressure accumulated in them just by realizing that they're tensed and relaxing them consciously. Being aware of ourselves is a real blessing!

May Issue

  Do you have your favorite issue of a magazines? Mine are January, May and September. I don't know why, but I always enjoy them the most, expect them the most and it doesn't even matter is it fashion magazine or whatever magazine, those issues must be made for me! Maybe it's something in the air, or maybe it's some magic in those months?

January is magical with the possibilities of new beginning. Anything could happen! New career, new adventures, new love and friends, new You, new resolutions and new hopes. 

 May, sweet May. For me May=Birthday :) And Spring in its full bloom with colors, spring dresses, flowers everywhere, people smiling everywhere and again new hopes: if winter is over, we can be better selves too.

 September represents innocent, sunny Autumn. The Autumn that makes you want to go for a walk and admire gold leaves, drink delicious coffee with friends, recall your school days and summer memories, show off with holiday's suntan and bake apple pies. 

 Ahhh... We're in the middle of May and suddenly I miss Autumn! (and September issue, while the May ones are already read...)