Professional

 When do you become professional in what you do? Do others give you this title or can you give it yourself? Can you be professional in everything or just in your job? What differs professional from unprofessional? Does being professional means you're absolutely confident in what you're doing? What does it mean 'professional artist'? Is that an artist that earns money from his art? Is that an artist who graduated Art Academy? If you're working as, lets say, secretary and after work you paint, does it make you professional secretary or professional artist? Both? None? 

  I'm caught in 'professional' trap and don't know how to answer my own questions. Maybe after few more years I'll get some more professional experience and answer this questions ;)

Innocent pleasures

  1. "Cut the guilt out of eating" is a title of article about eating disorders from a Clothes Show magazine printed in...1993! And it's still so current, isn't it? So for over 20 years world still deals with the same problems: anorexia, bulimia, or "at least" being on a constant diet. And constant guilt of eating chocolate or french fries. I noticed that even if I'm not on any diet and just trying to eat more healthy, I'm still a 'platewatcher' (term from the article)- paying extra care to avoid too big amounts of chocolate or fat. Am I always successful with that? Nope... Guilty!

  2. There was a shop near the place where I used to live, that had very funny owner. He used to joke with the customers, have a little chat with them or flirt innocently with girls. I'm sure most of girls know the day when nothing else will help except bar of chocolate. So on one of those days I went to grab my last-rescue chocolate and, feeling a little guilty went to pay for it. And then the owner said something that was even better than the chocolate: "Where's a pleasure there's no guilt".

  From that moment I'm allowing myself for more pleasures and for me they're definitely not guilty!

Moustache are over!

I have no idea from where my like for mustache came from but I fell in love with this rakish facial hair that I'll never have (thank God!). I painted mustache on my top, stick mustache on my laptop and agenda cover, decorated envelopes with mustache, wrote post about mustache , have mustache earrings and brooch... Yes, about that brooch... It broke! And I took it as a sign to cool down with my mustache fever. 

 It's a nature of fever to pass (or to kill you) and maybe in this case word trend suits better. What makes us (globally) to like owls, mustache, vintage bikes, coffee, Paris, motivating quotes? Internet is overflowing with photos of them and it spills on fashion, our everyday routine and dreams. Before I'm even able to realize it, I'm the owner of a bike with basket ( navy blue, vintage, named Rambler, mhm!) and coffee cup with mustache (coffee tastes the best in it!). So this is what they call marketing? A successful one, because they got me! And it makes me feel a bit cheated. Was it my real need, my dream or just a clever strategy to make me buy something? And while talking about dreams- they became very profitable good nowadays and very popular slogan, which makes something so wonderful and personal the best way for companies to get richer. I can bet that right after sexy chocolate/detergent/car the next one that sells the best is the one that is advertise with word "dreams".  

 I won't agree that everything is for sale but definitely they try to sell everything.

Post no. 297

 Weather today was just too beautiful and too sunny to refuse myself a long walk to the city center. Before I'll transform mentally into self-confident woman cruising down the sidewalk and making all the guys watching after her, I'm more like Bridget Jones in one of the scenes from the movie when she's walking by the bridge over Thames, hiding into her scarf and coat collar, with a little cheeky smile and undisciplined hair. Well, my hair was definitely undisciplined and initially I was hiding my cheeks in the scarf so they won't get rosy from the cold air but eventually they were dramatically red from superheated me, thinking "Woman, only you could wear woolen dress under winter jacket when it's at least +10 outside!"   ;)

 The tempo of me walking is proportional to the amount of thoughts in my head, which means that my usual speed is just a little slower than the speed of light ;) And just like meteorite is burning in the upper layers of atmosphere, intrusive thoughts are being burned in the power-walking process. Pressure under my scull is back to normal, legs ache a bit, breath and heartbeat are slowing down, yoga-zen-balance achieved...time to go back.

Hand made

  I came to a bizarre conclusion: if human beings weren't lazy, we wouldn't have wheel or print. We wouldn't have factories in which more or less complicated machines are doing almost all the work and can create millions copies of the merchandise. Without those precise machines we would be sentenced to imperfection of hand made things, to having less, to work more... But wait...is this vision really that bad? 

  With the power and spread of DIY movement, term "hand made" gets more and more of positive meaning. And in the copy-paste times it becomes an antidote for the same merchandise and looks around the world. 

 I made a promise to myself that I'll avoid chain stores and instead of making rich companies even richer, I'll support artists and local businesses by my purchases. It may mean that I'll pay more for a necklace or a dress but at the same time I'm getting guarantee that I won't meet  five other girls wearing the same thing. What seems to be more attractive for you- wardrobe and flat that is a copy from a magazine/catalogue or wardrobe and flat that is composed with unique pieces of art?

Chic & the City

 The best example to explain my relationship with fashion would be the story about Turtle and Rabbit. Her Highness Fashion is a Rabbit, going too fast for me to stay up to date with the latest creations, hot new designers or upcoming trends. And I'm a Turtle, going in my own tempo, maturing slowly for the trendiest clothes (often when the trend is already dying), preferring classics than extravaganza, but still hoping to win the fashion race. 

  In my own turtle tempo I discovered lately Sex and the City series. Of course I heard before about it it, that it's a cult thing, that Carrie's outfits are amazing due to a genius stylist. After first few episodes I was disappointed. It wasn't the fashion I expected! Where is breath-taking Haute Couture? But after a while I fell in love with simple and strong dresses, exquisite accessories and most of all, with the ease with which Carrie was always looking fabulous. Now each episode (still 4 seasons to go!) is my little fashion tutorial and a source of ideas how to simplify my wardrobe.

Possessions

 The older I become, the more various people I meet in my life, the more I discover that there isn't universal lifestyle suitable for everyone. Not everyone can be a Buddhist monk, as well as not everyone will be happy to be a successful lawyer. Sometimes we struggle to climb a carrier ladder  when all we actually need is peace of mind.

 They say that our society is very greedy and materialistic, that all that matters is money and buying things, that we're destroying our planet by the compulsive consumption. Being attached to material things will never bring you full happiness and joy in life, I agree. But come on, how many people are actually so fixed on buying things? I'm more than sure that they're the minority of humankind. And besides, does having things that you like and enjoy having and using is really such a crime and shameful thing? Does it make us maniacs? Would you call a maniac a kid that has its own treasures? Favorite toy, river stones, pieces of colored glass, feather, book, etc. Or does it really make a maniac from a guy that pays attention to his mobile or laptop, trying to choose the best one and then keep it as effective as possible? Is a woman who has favorite clothes or jewelery a maniac? I don't think so, even if they're all somehow attached to their possessions.I guess I still have some faith in humanity and in common sense.

 "People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because people are being used and things are being loved."

Left behind

  Everyday is a mosaic of various thoughts, impressions, flickers. Compilation of spoken words, people passed on the streets, steps and moves, inhaling and exhaling, minute after minute, hour after hour. Little details, short moments that will drown in the river of life. How to protect them from oblivion? Is it worth to protect them from it? Or is it possible? I think I realized for the first time that my life is passing and eventually one day I'll pass away too.

  Brrrr, is it cloudy weather or need for Spring making me so melancholic? Coffee with a pinch of cinnamon + Happy Endings didn't help, now I'm trying out jasmine tea + Chopin music. But it's not really helping me with shaking off the feeling that all that I'll leave behind will be box of sketchbooks and agendas with  old bus/train/museum tickets glued inside.

  

   

Potential

  It's a bit hard to realize your own potential when all you see in yourself and your life is lack. Lack of talent, luck, connections, time, opportunities, experience, money, character, patience, etc. Although you can be guided by your lack, you can't really move forward when you're focused on what you don't have. Potential (your potential!) is something that is already given to you, something that you already have or that you can easily reach.

 When I was still a student, I decided to take exams at the best academy of art where I could study fashion designing. I was scared like hell, still wondering if I should try or not, maybe my works are so poor that I'll make a fool of myself, etc. One of my friends told me then something so simple and so obvious, but also something very revealing for me in that moment: "Marta, that academy is for human beings, you know? Normal people study there!".

  I took those exams. I didn't get in, but I was very close. Very close to something that I imagined is impossible for me to achieve. And studying there suddenly stopped to be so important, I was proudly thinking to myself "Girl, you got it!!!". You also already have everything that you need for now. You have your idea, strength, plan, ambition, resolution, support, talent, dream, resources. So go and get them! ;)