Lesson learned

 Five years of studies are passing rapidly. Last semester... But today I won't worry what will be after. Today I'll appreciate the lesson I've learnt and I'll give myself an imaginary diploma to certify completed tasks:

1. Getting rid of the fear of getting dirty with paint, pencil, whatever
2. Cognition of new city
3. Completion of intensive how-to-survive-in-the-dorm course 
4. Accolade myself as an artist
5. Using as many student's discounts as possible
6. Survival with always too little money

  If you think, that the last one was the hardest to complete, you're wrong. It was child's play to explain to myself that I won't have that gorgeous dress in the nearly future. But explaining to myself that what I create is valuable and I have right to call myself an artist? Like talking to walls. I think... probably everyone must to face this lesson- self-confidence.

"I don't regret anything"

How many people can afford luxury of saying these words?
I discussed with my friend today about movies in which the main character discovers that will die soon and starts to live really intensively, to make his dreams come true, to travel, to appreciate each single day and a moment. Usually he finds meaning and love of his life, true friendship and, in the end, that he's completely healthy!
Maybe this kind of story is naive, but doesn't it give us a moment of thinking "Why not to start from today, from now, living the life we always wanted to live"? For me it works like that. I started to wonder what I'll do if I'll have, let's say, one month. Ideas are the following:
I'd eat meals only with friends or in restaurants. I'd wear only dresses (and I'd buy few new ones, in bright colours. Most preferable? Red and orange!). I'd sing during each shower. I'd take bubble baths more often (I'd sing during them too!). Every morning I'd dance to energetic music. I'd dance almost as often as singing. I'd say each guy that made my heart beating faster that he did. I'd eat as much ice cream and raisins in chocolate as I could. I'd do everything to dip my feet in the Ocean. I'd go for a walk at night everyday...err...everynight! I'd hug often my parents, grandparents, my sisters and friends. I'd drink dry wine at the top of high-rise (not alone, of course!). I'd sleep a little and in satin nightgown. Every day I'd use expensive perfumes. I wouldn't even blink at the TV. I'd write a letter to everyone I couldn't meet before the end, just to tell them how important they're in my life. I'd go to parachute. I'd go on karaoke in sexy dress and sing "Killing me softly". I'd have iroquoise, then afro and then nothing on my head. I'd ride a bike like a crazy, like someone, who's doing it for the last time...
Who knows... Maybe I'll start from tomorrow?

The best things are for free

Maybe world is going crazy and all that people want is to poses, but there are still great things completely for free.
Air. How good is to take deep breath of fresh air! And you don't have to worry about plastic bag that should be recycled, better prices in other shops, your size or perfect colour. Air is not cheaper on the internet and no one invented imitation of it. And it has additional function- wind. Wind that helps kids to fly kites, shakes white petals of blooming trees, ruffles hair, makes waves and brings changes. All we have to do is keep breathing!

Born too late

Great progress today! Three pages of my master thesis. Till Tuesday they have to transform into whole chapter, but I think it's quite possible. Do you know what's the best? That I'm really interested in what I am reading and writing! Historical background of inter war period and how it influenced clothing. Dear God, I think there's a small mistake... shouldn't I be born then? When jazz conquered clubs, when fashion illustration had its golden age, when there was still remnant of secession's glory on the streets?
How it musted to be...after I world war? People desperately wanted to celebrate life, to squeeze the essence out of it. Were they afraid, that the peace won't last long? 
Mhmm...Twenties... The atmosphere of Paris streets in the night. People rushing to night clubs. Sounds of jazzbands. Women with short hair, in low-waist dresses decorated with sequins... Men always in sport suits. Noise, laugh, debauchery and bitter sadness hidden deep on post-war streets.

Spy amateur

 When I start to think that each person passing me by on the street has its story, its dreams, problems, plans and ideas for life, the awareness of it crushes me. It's impossible to embrace it all for me and maybe that's why I don't like to spend too much time in metropolis. But big cities, capitals have intensity that generate inspirations. The speed of the city, colours, sounds, the contrasts between new and old, things to see, places to visit, time spent in public transport or car in a traffic jam, annoying leaflets, rubbish, monuments, history and present... Carousel with experiences! When too many stimuli attack me, I defend myself with good old method-sketchbook and pencil. I write down or draw newborn ideas, surprising thoughts, brave plans, titles worth remembering, bizarre or quaint outlooks. Ufff... Deep breath, cup of good coffee and back on the merry-go-round!

                                                                        Warsaw, August 2010

Jin Jang

Oh, how wonderful is silence after loud party. Oh, how moving is music after period of quiet.
Ice cream taste the best in summer. Warm soup is perfect in winter.
Laziness is fully appreciated when comes as a prize after hard work.

Funny, how hard it is to satisfy us- in summer is too hot, in winter too cold.
Amazing, how the simplest things make us happy- smile, sun, someone's presence. 

 P.S. Two inspirational sentences worth following: "Do what you love and do it often" and "The best things in life are for free"

So young, we are so young!

 So young, I'm still so young! This simple thought is shouting in me. I'm still so young! I still have plenty of time to taste life, to find its sense, to make mistakes and to learn how to learn. What a relief... I am still so young! Young enough to dye my hair pink, to have a dragonfly tattoo on my right wrist, to believe that world is not that bad and that dreams do come true.
  I love this feeling... Feeling that all the doors are open wide, that I can run endlessly, that impossible is nothing, that I'm drunk with air, more with each breath! Élan vital!

Her highness Art on the streets

                                                Pilawa, Poland                                                Warsaw, Poland

                            artist: NeSpoon,Warsaw, Poland                             Wrocław, Poland
 No surprise that Art came out on the streets, it musted be so boring in museums and galleries! Although she does it secretely and usually under cover of night, she leaves signs of her presence. Maybe I'm not Sherlock Holmes, but with those signs I can see, that she's not always polite or political correct. She might be trivial, primitive, but on the other hand- mature and involved into social problems.
 Tricky Art... She didn't leave her official kingdom, but she created underground to conquer new territories. How many lieges she has all over the planet? May I become one of them?

Time stolen from a Night

Shhh! Becouse Night might hear us and we suppose to sleep now... But the view from my window, even if not breathtaking, is hypnotic. It reminds me of the "Light, Darkness, Light" video, I published it here some time ago. City calms down. Finally, I can hear myself. But there's nothing but rubbish after a long day. Maybe I'm too tired to distinguish what's noteworthy and what's not. Shelves released from dust, incomplete shopping list, clogged sink, "Goodbye" at bus station, few messages on a phone, one mail, harvested crops on FarmVille, "Whisper of the heart". Everything mixed up. What kind of dreams might come out of it?

Little kingdoms

 My little kingdoms, my personal spaces, my reliable shelters...

 My desk. Everything there's in perfect order, my order. Pencils, papers, crayons, books, magazines are obedient subjects. Enemy can't conquer treasuries in my drawers. My kingdom.

 My agenda.  The only one notebook containing so many things-plans, dreams, journeys, projects, ideas, sketches, shopping lists, things-to-do, encouraging mottos or quotations.My personal space.

 I found a shelter in drawing, creating, rearranging, customizing what's around me. When it has something from me, then it's tame, it's mine somehow. Running is also a perfect shelter-letting your legs to be your head, to guide you, to solve your problems, to show your joy, to remind you that your original condition is freedom.

THE moment

When is the perfect moment for living a life you always wanted to live? When you'll have perfect conditions to make your dreams come true? Or if there'll be ever a right time to change something that requires change?

Details in the fabric

The thought that came to me in the beginning of this New Year is about the dark side of human nature. Tears, fears, anger, sadness, melancholy,envy. The great mystery of human brain and heart-why we collect sad memories, why we cultivate bad feelings? The machinery of our psyche.

Maybe the overflow of negative feelings and thoughts was the reason why I started to draw? It just needed to find estuary and how you find it, when you're an introvert? You find an alternative for talking.
When you're in a state when too many bad thoughts are flying in your head like crows, you just take a paper and a pencil and keep your hands busy, so that your head can be unlocked. Black birds fly away and the sun is shining again.