Modern Obsessions

 We live in obsessive world, full of maniacs fooled by their manias. Seems like all of a sudden everyone is running to the gym while sipping what's left in their paper coffee cup and desperately trying to photograph it, share it and hope for others to like it.  Coffee can be a life-savior, keeping fit is healthy and photography can be a great hobby and even passion (aha, passion!  Another very fashion word.), but enough is enough! Soon all that passion, coffee, fashion, cupcakes, fitness, selfies & foodies will make me nauseous! Don't show me photos of your breakfast-tell me how are you? Describe me the most ordinary, non-glamour parts of your day, of your life. Show me things that wouldn't deserve a like. Let me into your modest, simple, real life; tell me the truth about yourself. 

Sitting, waiting

 

   Waiting for what? That's a good question.  For what am I/ are we waiting? Sometimes for a train, bus, movie, next episode of favorite tv show. Maybe for salvation? Maybe for a disaster? War? Revolution? Sign that never comes when desperately needed?

  Huge part of my life I spent on sitting. Sitting, walking, sleeping. Sitting, waiting. Such an ignorance of other ways I could use my muscles-dancing, running, jumping, crawling, squatting, swirling, skipping, marching, etc. Time to move it, move it!

In-Dependent

 Is independence possible? Can a person be completely independent? I'm finding myself entangled in such a complex net of dependencies, from obvious ones to very subtle and perfidious. The more developed society is, the bigger dependence. Imagine huge white board with a dot in the center as you, and net of your dependencies filling all the board's space. Probably it's a pretty complicated net. Now imagine a sponge, wiping all the connections, rules,obligations, dependencies... Just you and carte blanche. Doesn't that sound tempting?

In the heat of the summer day

 Summer in the city. That's a season itself. Melting asphalt, concrete absorbing the heat and radiating it back, cars - mobile factories of fumes and noise, every bench in the shadow occupied, hot heaving air bringing smell of decomposing garbage.  It will sound weird from a person who dreams of a countryside house and barely stands 27 Celsius grade temperatures, but I missed it. I missed this horrible, hallucinogenic, hard to bear time of a year, when your skin and bones are absorbing steaming city.

Formal, Informal

 Will I risk a lot by saying that we are all two-faced? Two-faced at least! We slightly modify our behavior, voice tone, gestures and words depending on the place, situation and company.

 We are the most consistent as kids, then going trough a long phase of changes, adaptations and adjustments just to end up as fossilized old person, with their habits and hardly changeable character. 

  But being ourselves should be freaking easy, shouldn't it? You just wake up in the morning, you are yourself and go to sleep. And then again, you wake up, you're being your fabulous self, you go to sleep, etc.

  One of my FB friends shared something true:

"You are so used to your features, you don't know how beautiful you look to a stranger" 

Breathe in, breathe out

  Breathe in, breathe out. Our unnoticeable daily routine. It's not even a habit, it's something deeper and greater in us, human creatures. Nobody has to teach a bud how to open a beautiful flower, nobody taught a cat enjoy sleeping in a gleam, nobody taught us how to breathe.

  When things go rough, just focus on this basic- breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breath out. You are here, you are alive; you have heart that pumps your blood, legs that can take you wherever you want and hands that can make whatever you want.

Retail therapy?

 We all know the Hollywood picture of a  girl with a broken heart, having a bad day or simply  being a New Yorker - clicking on a sidewalk with her high heels, carrying colorful paper bags filled with clothes. Yep, so called "retail therapy". There's a little detail in this retail thing- it doesn't ease  the aching woman's soul for long (especially if your common sense has perfect memory for prices). And btw, isn't it better to try on a dress when you feel good and at peace with yourself, not when you're an emotional mess?

 Picture from yesterday: I was coming back from the city, feeling so-so with more of negative taste. Sun was hidden behind thick clouds, suddenly it got  windy and cold. "Mhhm, maybe some shopping will make me feel better and bring back good mood?" I went into one store, then window-shopped in few others, but it didn't give the thrill or sense that I was seeking. Then I stopped in front of an art gallery. Poster looked appealing and I decided to step in. There was an exhibition of abstract, subtly-colored pieces that reminded me Japanese calligraphy works. My mind had a chance to detach from all the everyday thoughts that run trough it, in a silent and ascetic interior of the gallery. 

 That's what we need more than another dress- space and moments for our thoughts to take new directions.